Never have I thought I would be so happy without you, remember when I cursed at the winds saying I will never get over you, I will be hung on you forever, I'm so thankful it fucking ended.
Not that I wasn't grateful it even happened to begin with, I am grateful it happened, it taught me a lot - it taught me what I didn't want in my life. I didn't want to be treated as a spare-tyre, to be constantly thrown aside when unneeded, to be used as a toy and as a stepping stone in so many aspects. I do not want to dwell on whatever happened, because it was a fucking nightmare, it was torturous to the bones and I can never forget how it felt like to be constantly enduring and treated that way. While I was honestly secretly basking in happiness about your failed relationship attempt, I was feeling pure sympathy for you, for you gave up on someone who could have gave you the world, for someone who didn't want you as much as you wanted her. And I thought for you that it might suck feeling that way as I did, having a tiny taste of your own god damned medicine. But I do not curse it upon you, neither did I wished for that to happen to you, but I do not deny that little bit of happiness when I found someone else to rely on faster than you did. That I found someone stable, and more mature and capable of handing my shitty attitude and not giving shit excuses about stuff.
Honestly, when I started dating someone younger than me again, I was afraid because of the past relationship I sacrificed quite a lot for, for a younger boy. But that was years ago, and H definitely acts more mature beyond his age. There might be times we can't stand each other, but it is all normal as at the end of the day we manage to resolve our conflicts within our quarrels and some bad tiffs at times, and now I'm rather happy to say that I don't feel stressed in a relationship with him. I'm not that afraid of losing someone, because this feels more tangible, more strongly grasped and built on a stronger foundation. For I know, he started liking me for myself and not for any form of satisfaction like some other guys would.
I am happier now than ever, and I would like to officially declare I'm over and done with you & your bullshit.
Not that I wasn't grateful it even happened to begin with, I am grateful it happened, it taught me a lot - it taught me what I didn't want in my life. I didn't want to be treated as a spare-tyre, to be constantly thrown aside when unneeded, to be used as a toy and as a stepping stone in so many aspects. I do not want to dwell on whatever happened, because it was a fucking nightmare, it was torturous to the bones and I can never forget how it felt like to be constantly enduring and treated that way. While I was honestly secretly basking in happiness about your failed relationship attempt, I was feeling pure sympathy for you, for you gave up on someone who could have gave you the world, for someone who didn't want you as much as you wanted her. And I thought for you that it might suck feeling that way as I did, having a tiny taste of your own god damned medicine. But I do not curse it upon you, neither did I wished for that to happen to you, but I do not deny that little bit of happiness when I found someone else to rely on faster than you did. That I found someone stable, and more mature and capable of handing my shitty attitude and not giving shit excuses about stuff.
Honestly, when I started dating someone younger than me again, I was afraid because of the past relationship I sacrificed quite a lot for, for a younger boy. But that was years ago, and H definitely acts more mature beyond his age. There might be times we can't stand each other, but it is all normal as at the end of the day we manage to resolve our conflicts within our quarrels and some bad tiffs at times, and now I'm rather happy to say that I don't feel stressed in a relationship with him. I'm not that afraid of losing someone, because this feels more tangible, more strongly grasped and built on a stronger foundation. For I know, he started liking me for myself and not for any form of satisfaction like some other guys would.
I am happier now than ever, and I would like to officially declare I'm over and done with you & your bullshit.
