Its been ages since I last posted anything here. Just an update on my life. Can't believe there's actually views on this webpage despite my absence :')
Been through a lot during the past 5 months I've been away from this space. I've worked in Lancome for the EOY holidays, enjoyed myself. Made new friends.
Someone important walked out of my life, came back for a little while n gone again. Nobody really needs someone forever do they? Even though it hurts, it doesn't hurt as much as it used to.
I've changed my hairstyle, cut fringe n now its long again so I guess I might be centre parting.... again soon. Been coping with JC life. Pretty stressful with all the heavy workload n the muggers around me.
Been trying to distract myself, been through a lot. Seriously a lot. Got a dog, JRT. Reminds me of u. I love my dog a lot, but I guess it is only a small portion of how much I loved u.
U left n came as u want it to be. I didn't had the right to stay or leave u either way. but throughout these tough months, I guess we've both been tired.
We could live our lives better separated, as u said. n in fact, I'm coping it pretty well. I have people around me that love me, more than I deserve, n I'm trying to appreciate them before I lose them like how I lost u. I don't wanna be devastated n lost again, with nothing else to cling on to. This time I'll be standing strong on my own, independent, wouldn't need to rely on anyone else.
celebrated shyan's bday quite some time back
my virgin polaroids
just me @ work
the last day of 2012
Della's concert with my mum, great way to kick start 2013
celebrated my best friend's bday.
collected my pink IC finally
v-day.
Sometimes I feel that we could have been something more, but things have ended like this. I presume this is how fate runs. It is unexpected, it breaks u but if u have the will to, it turns u into someone stronger. Someone who is capable of helping others, loving others, supporting the ones around u. I really want to rely on someone, but I've learnt, far too much that the only one u can rely on is urself.
Constantly reminded of people who hurt me, but who am I to say its their fault? I caused them to hurt me, it must be me, being vulnerable or doing something so that people r capable of hurting me. How could someone hurt u when u don't allow them close enough to? this is ludicrous. but this is final. I guess there's no way for me to look back anymore.
Maybe, several years down the road, we could be like before, but not now, not soon. u've given me way too much to ponder n I wonder if I'm even deserving of anyone. anyone other than u.
But sorry, to have wasted ur time n effort for everything.
